Listen More, Talk Less: A Key to Career Success Program Recap

Written by Andrew Dauphinee
Published on April 17, 2025

Listening and Its Complexity

When we listen, what are we exactly hearing? Are we hearing emotions, important information, opportunities, or just words? While listening seems like the simple act of just receiving what someone is saying, true listening is much more complex. Listening, especially active listening, requires an 8 step process, ultimately creating a feedback loop where if only 1 piece is missing or disrupted, it can change the trajectory or meaning of an entire conversation. According to Wilbur Schramm, the following steps are necessary for any effective communication:

1. Encoding – Person 1 has to determine what they want to say and what words they will use to communicate their thought
2. Message – Person 1 delivers their message to Person 2
3. Decoding – Person 2 receives the words of Person 1
4. Interpretation – Person 2 has to determine what Person 1 said by interpreting their words, vocal tone, body language, and other cues
5. Encoding – Person 2 has to determine what they want to say/ask in response and what words they will use to communicate their thought
6. Feedback Message – Person 2 delivers their message to Person 1
7. Decoding – Person 1 receives the words of Person 2
8. Interpretation – Person 1 has to determine what Person 2 said by interpreting their words, vocal tone, body language, and other cues, particularly as it relates to the interpretation of their original message

Breakdowns can occur all throughout this process resulting in misunderstandings, including distractions, focusing on your response before the other person is finished talking, or unfamiliarity with the words used. Effective communication happens when there is common understanding or shared experiences and subject knowledge, particularly as it relates to career-related conversations. In fact, people interpret much more about the intent and subject of our conversations from our vocal tone and body language than from the words we use.

3 Types of Listening

Intentional Listening

Intentional listening is very demanding and draining, making it a very advanced skill that takes time develop. Intentional listening focuses your entire body on the person speaking with you; your ears, your mind, your heart. When engaging in intentional listening, you are listening with purpose; purpose to understand not only what someone is saying, but recognizing that how someone is saying it will reveal a lot more than just their words. During this process, you remain focused on them despite any and all distractions (psychical and mental) and are focused on understanding that person rather than ways to evaluate, criticize, or opine.

Reflective Listening

Reflective listening is less rigorous than intentional listening, but it has a similar goal of trying to truly understand what a person is saying. Reflective listening focuses on how you respond, particularly by asking questions, seeking clarification, or rephrasing parts of the conversation to ensure that you accurately interpreting and understanding what the other person means. This type of listening can be very productive because it shows your interest in the person and the conversation, while also helping create mental connections in your own mind that you can use later. When first meeting someone, try repeating the person’s name several times to establish a baseline of intent and remember to keep the reflection centered on the speaker rather than yourself.

Inquisitive Listening

Inquisitive listening is similar to reflective listening, but generally only utilizes questions to ensure proper understanding. These questions can be simple closed questions or more involved, open-ended questions. Inquisitive listening demonstrates that you are curious and open to the speaker’s views, which is a great way to engage in introductory conversations. Try to be an unbiased listener to ensure that the questions you are asking are neutral and without skepticism or hostility as these things can end a conversation quickly and leave a less than positive impression.

Listening and Networking

Networking is all about communicating, which at its core is centered on listening. Use networking opportunities to practice your listening skills so that when the time comes where you need something from someone, you’ve already cultivated a positive relationship by demonstrating your ability to listen. Listening will make others more memorable to you as well as you more memorable to others. Listening is a great way for you to determine what you can truly offer the other person, such as skills, practical knowledge, or other connections.

You can create powerful connections through effective listening. Try to be the perfect host at every gathering by getting to know individuals and introducing them to other people you think can help them. By listening, you can more easily give short introductions about an individual to others, even those you just met. In the end, you will be remembered for bringing people together.

Strive to become the rainmaker, the person who is able to bring people together, as this person is desirable across professions. The core of becoming a rainmaker is listening, a process that takes skill and practice. Maintain your focus by listening with intention and create clarity by listening reflectively and curiously. Remember people by painting mental pictures and when speaking, paint the picture you want remembered. And do not forget about feedback; use it build purposeful connections.

More Information

If you have any questions about listening or anything related to your career pursuits, please contact Paul Cecala at pcecala@cecalacareer.com or visit Cecala Career Consultants at https://sites.google.com/a/cecalacareer.com/cecalacareer-com/home. You can view a recording of this webinar on our YouTube channel at https://youtu.be/xBmeQ9hNzcc.